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Well, first, you're likely asking yourself... Bob? Bob? Explain? Okay, okay, chill out. Basically, here's what happens.
He whom you know as Maximus was gonna write this article... but he never finished. Good thing I stopped him too, I mean,
here's the intro sentence that he (thankfully) stopped at:
If you think you're overzealous, then you don't know BOB (you thought I was going to say Jack, huh, well you're wrong,
it's Bob)
Well, you know it can't possibly get much worse than a *ahem* joke *cough* like that. I'm sorry. That's pretty lame.
Anywho, that's why I say to you- no more Bob. Now, I was gonna title it simply "Screw Bob," but then if there is
actually someone in the world named Bob, I could get screwed, figuratively of course, if the wrong meaning was taken from
that. What I do mean by No More Bob is that... well... as my Spanish teacher said, "call a spade a spade." She
says that every day or so. Whatever. Anyway, the point is, if you want to say "you don't know shit" or even the
toned-down but still okay "you don't know jack," then say it. None of this "Bob" crap. I mean, if you
want to make a joke, go off of a little more than just a funny-sounding name. I mean, honestly, is there anyone actually
named Bob besides Bob Dole? I didn't think so. Yeah.
So for all of those who don't know jack- call a spade a spade. Be honest, brutally so if necessary. Restraining yourself
out of fear of offending someone will just make you look like a wuss. Stand up, and be a man. Assuming you are one. If
you're a chick, we should talk.... Anyway, as I was saying, don't be that wierd creepy guy who sits in the back all quietly
who everyone's a bit afraid of approaching, both for not really understanding what makes you tick, what pisses you off, and
what makes you mope in the corner.
And lastly, something that's been pissing me off lately- you want to say something to me? Say it to my face. I absolutely
hate it when some guy tries to insult you, and mumbles some crap at you that you can barely hear. I ask him, loudly, so he
gets the point, what he said, and his stupid jerkoff friends are all like "ohhhhhh" and stuff, and he just mumbles
some crap, his moron friends giggle again, and I end up resigning and leaving for lack of reaching that infantile skull of
this guy. If the guy had the balls to stand in front of me and say whatever it was in front of everyone, I wouldn't even
be mad at him- or maybe I would, but in a different way. This didn't even happen today, or anything, but I just remembered
something like this, and I know it seems to be happening more and more with immature young people. When I was that old, I
didn't mess with the older people when they could hear, and if I did, at least I had the guts to say it to their face. At
least that way you get some respect, even if they're bigger and can still beat the crap out of you if they want. Just wanted
to get that out of the way.
So none of that Bob crap. Don't you pull that on me. And get some guts, do what you want to in life. It's here- you
might as well take advantage and do as much as you can, and whatever you want (with exceptions, obviously- I'm talking about
regular day-to-day stuff). Bit of a rant today, but I'm kind of mad after a serious bout of testing. It'll all be over soon
though, which is good. Gotta get through what's left- only then can I go on and do what I want. In the meantime, I have
to pummel Maximus about this whole Bob thing. Absolutely preposterous. Good-bye.
-Publius
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