Article #11: I like equal rights, I hate girl power...

Before I get a ton of angry hate mail and letter bombs, let me explain where I am coming from with this article. I believe in equal rights to the fullest. If you are a man who got fired from a job and a woman took your place because she has a better degree, then don't complain. What I am saying is that if you are a male that got hired for a job and a woman did not get the job and sues the company for sexual harassment, then you have a right to complain. Simply put, you should treat men and women the same. If you treat them any different based on their gender, then you're probably an ass and you might have an inauspicious future. This rant is dedicated to hardcore, liberal feminists, and no other type of woman. (PS: I intend to write another article on how woman are confusing with relationships, but that's in the future.)

When I think of a feminist, the first thing which comes to my mind is "girl power." Many people would argue that girl power is, in essence, the gathering of women in the name of equal rights and fair treatment. The fact is that girl power is an excuse for inexcusable behavior (re-read that sentence and tell me it isn't ironic, I dare you; I double dare you; I double dare you with a cherry on top; a red cherry.)

The first question comes from my awkward companion, Melvin. I'm sure Melvin is asking, "Giving women equal rights is a good thing, where did we go wrong?" Well, that's simple Melvin, it started long before you were diffident, and that was pretty damn long ago, when the government began to succumb to angry letters. I remember the quote, "The pen is mightier than the sword," and I believe that in the midst and discrepencies of history, the quote was misread and actually should of read: "The pen in the hand of an angry women is mightier than the sword in the hands of Zorro." (Feminists don't like Zorro because he cuts Z's in girl's shirts, so I decided to use him. )

Women like Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton deserve recognition for giving women basic rights and all was going well for women until the 1960s. Honestly, I don't know much about women's history, but I'm guessing this is when women's rights started turning into women's world.

The problem is that feminists didn't just encourage women to have the opportunity to escape the household, but they basically persecuted women for staying in the household. Essentially, when women first started going into the workforce, they found that they were not treated equally, Ok then, reform here, reform there, bodda bing, bodda boom (I don't know how the hell you're supposed to spell that, but I don't care) we're all equal.

But THEN, something HORRIFICALLY bad happened. THEY TOOK POLLS. These polls would simply say that women get 70 cents to a man's dollar, 90 percent of woman are abused in some way and 150 percent of men suck. At this point, equal opportunities were not enough; it was time for dominance.

Without going into details (if I mentioned the details and specific situations, I would definitely sound like an ass,) feminists use a double-sided argument in order to get what they want. On one side, they demand more opportunitites and more rights in order to ensure that they get an advantage (I won't make many references, but just look at how many times women get divorces after a year and get a million dollars and how radical feminist are cutting men's wee-wee off.) On the other side, they demand to be treated like a lady in the past who would go to tea parties. For example, if a woman yells at a man, nothing happens, but if a man yells at a woman, it is verbal abuse.

Let's look at this mathematically. You have X (male) and Y(female). If Y wants to be X, then Y = X=X. So why should we treat X differently than X; why should we treat a female who wants to be equal to a male like a female (Yup, I'm confused too, but think about it.) Have you ever seen a liberal feminist pay her share of the bill on a date even though they are able to make the money required to pay for the dinner?

If you do know a woman who believes in girl power, then the simple solution is just treat them like they ought to be treated. If you see a girl who works her ass off, is a genius yet sacrifies her ambitious and propitious goals to stay at home with your kids, then pay for her meals and treat her with respect. If you see a girl who has never cleaned her room and expects you to pay her bill while she screams girl power, then pay for your appetizer and refuse to pay for her lobster.

This article has been coming for a long time, but it was catalyzed by an article I just read that said that women are worse off than they were 10 years ago, and the government needs to protect them even more; their facts were based on poor and suffering people (I mean poor and suffering WOMEN, it's obvious that no man is poor or suffering.)

God I hope our site does not get shut down for this article because I feel that it is one of the most relevant (not the funniest I will admit.) Treat a person like they should be treated, regardless of gender and keep away from megaphones.